The other night, I watched on in admiration of England’s penalty-takers. It was an emphatic display of precision and courage. Perhaps, like you, I tried to imagine myself doing it. Dealing with the moment, the pressure, the decision, the technical skill.
I looked on, impressed by Bukayo Saka. A player who, not so long ago, had attempted and missed from the spot, and had felt the depth of the plunge beneath his error.
I wondered what must have been going through his mind and how he found the courage to return to the edge of the precipice. Seeing him possess the strength and power to be seemingly unaffected was amazing.
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Trust and Truth
Courage is on my mind a lot at the moment. I regularly speak to people who must find the courage to deal with their situation. All sorts of environments demand it. Courage will need summoning in your personal life, in your profession, in front of others and in private. But where does it come from? How do we get it? And once we have it, can we always rely on it?
I have spent a while talking to different sports people about courage. For them, courage would seem a common currency, one oft-discussed and admired. But in pondering the whys and wherefores associated with courage, I find myself returning to two well-known values that you need at your foundation: trust and truth. Without these, courage doesn’t flower.
To be courageous, you have to, at first, acknowledge the truth of the situation. You have to be honest enough to lay out everything that is in front of you; how much it might hurt, how tricky it might be, and how you might fail. There is little point misrepresenting the task you will have to take on.
This is not easy. In a way, this is your first courageous step. You need to admit that you are afraid. Courage is fear turned inside out. It is impossible to be courageous if, at first, you weren’t afraid.*
Vulnerability and weakness
There is vulnerability here: a willingness to accept weakness. It will be difficult to do but the benefit is a base point of truth. From which grows the trunk of our tree, the strength of our being. Think how vulnerable seeds are. Great towering oaks were all seeds once.
You need to accept the vulnerability and the fear. Let it into your world so that you can stand next to it for a while. Size it up and appreciate the things that make it scary to you. Accept that it might have hurt you in the past, and understand why that was the case. Take away the emotion and just look at how it did it.
All of this has to involve honesty. A truthful appraisal of the situation and your feelings towards it is the starting point. Once, and only once, we reach this point can we properly start summoning the power to make you courageous.
You see, the same power that made something frightening is going to make you courageous. You are just going to harness it differently. It’s a similar mental process but has vastly contrasting outcomes. Both are powerful, both feel real. One with the ability to limit, cower and restrict. The other will enhance, engage and enable possibility. It won’t guarantee anything, but the chances of success will be significantly improved.
Authenticity is key
Be careful of outcome bias. Courage is not defined by an outcome. Bukayo Saka was not courageous because he scored, but because he put himself, once again, in the position to score. It is not determined by an outcome, and should not be judged as such. This is why we see courage in fallen heroes; why the Victoria Cross and Medal of Honour are given out posthumously.
You can be unselfish with your courage, in an attempt to make things better for others but, in a way, courage is a selfish act. Determined by our willingness to remove fear, or the thought of failure, for ourselves. As such, courage must come from within and be authentic. It is very difficult to hide the truth about our thoughts from ourselves.
False courage, unsupported by inner belief, cracks easily and will see you crumble early. Courage must be a genuine thought propelled by absolute assurance from the self that it is the right thing to do.
Courage given to you by others does not stand up to scrutiny, either. This is the idea of courage being ‘a solo act’. We cannot be courageous just because others have been. It is ours alone and in being so, we must accept its truth, and completely align ourselves with our desire to stand up to our fear. And this is only properly achieved with the help of trust.
You need to trust in your ability. Given to you by practice, preparation, experience, visualisation and mindset. Having recognised the threat, the beating of it must be seen and believed in the mind. And this vision is often gifted to you by the experience of previous achievements.
Mindset is perhaps the most prevalent tool of those listed. Determination and resilience is seen most predominantly in those who have had no practice, preparation or experience of the situation they are in. Which brings us to…
Fortitude
Interestingly, this is how the classical virtue of ‘courage’ is referred. Fortitude requires patience and persistence, a willingness to persevere. Courage is cultivated in the time you spend practising and preparing to face the fear; in the moments you spend seeing and believing in your success, in the resilience and determination you show in pursuit.
Although carried out by you alone, being courageous can be achieved through others. Trust in those around you and gain trust from those around you. Courage can’t be given to you by other people, but they can create the environment needed for you to forge it. A team, a family, a circle of friends that also believe in the merits of your challenge and the truth of your mission can deepen your resolve.
Courage is ‘a solo act’ but is always better fashioned from a shared belief and understanding. If you can find others to face down the fear with you, it reduces the seeming size of the task and increases the joy of achievement.
TRUST THE PROCESS TO SUMMON THE COURAGE
So, most importantly, we must remember that courage is only really borne out of trust and truth. And to truly experience courage, we must at first have been afraid. If we are willing to recognise that vulnerability, be patient, persevere with practice and preparation, and surround ourselves with a group of people who can help nurture that belief within us, we will be able to become courageous.
This isn’t easy. And neither should it be. Any virtue worth attaining should always be difficult. But, like many things I have shared on this website, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.
Keep being truthful, keep trusting the process and keep pushing yourself into situations where you need to summon courage.
