Parenting is the most difficult job in the world. There are numerous good intentions and a fair few bad outcomes. As parents, all we want is the best for our children, but in our pursuit to be helpful, we often become the opposite.
Nowhere is this more prominent in the idea Don Macpherson labels ‘Accidental Mind Coach’. This is when we affect the thinking or mindset of others in a negative way, without that being our intention. It is very easy to do. And while I’m not expecting you to be able to rid yourself of the problem immediately, just being aware of the idea could be the first step on the way to becoming a more effective person and parent.
The Sky Sports Commentary team are waxing lyrical about Joe Root; England’s premier batter is showing his class once more. He has notched up his 10,000th run, in what seems like record time, and, relieved of the captaincy and under the new test match stewardship of Ben Stokes and Brendan McCullum, appears to be playing some of his best cricket.
But then something is said in commentary that really piques my interest: “Joe Root always seems to play well at this ground. And that’s definitely ‘a thing’: you turn up at a ground and you just know you’re going to play well.”
I was fascinated to hear Eoin Morgan talk about how he approached that unforgettable final over in the ODI Cricket World Cup in 2019. I’m sure you don’t need reminding what had happened but to refer to it as one of the most enthralling sporting spectacles of our lifetime is not an understatement.
Morgan was amongst it. Trying to see the wood for the trees and, as he recalled it, trying to communicate with the bowler who would bowl England’s crucial sudden death over, Jofra Archer.
When speaking to Sky Sports about the situation, Morgan revealed that his first thought was his own breath. He wanted to control it; take some good steady breaths before approaching the young Archer. He recognised that the most important thing in that moment was not necessarily his words, but the way he came across. He wanted Archer to perceive an ease and comfort in his captain. In the swirling storm of the situation, Morgan did not want to panic his man, or create any unease in a player he knew needed to be at his best. And Morgan knew the key to this lay in managing and controlling his own breathing.
As I have spoken about at length, our breath is our superpower. As performers wanting to operate at our best, we need to have clarity of thought and ease of action. The breath governs all of these things. Taking a few moments to slow our heart rate, lower our blood pressure, to control our breathing and therefore, in this instance, our voice and delivery, is key.
If you get into the habit of working on your breathing on a daily basis, this process will become easier. When you really need it, your body will find the strong deep breath more easily. A bit like any other technique or skill, if utilised often, the muscle memory in your diaphragm will respond. Morgan’s sublime example is the reason why we should all practise our breathing.
If we want to perform at our best, if we want to present to others a picture of serenity and control, breath is the cornerstone.